And it all comes flooding back

(I know this video is about abuse more physical then what I went through, but the first time I watched it I seemed so familiar, that push/pull on/off feeling rang very true.)I've mentioned before my first boyfriend P. We were together for almost 3 years. I moved to the city with him. We lived together after we broke up for another 9 months. What I don't often tell people is that the relationship

My Adventures in Online Dating: Episode 8

When I get the instant messages from people on the dating sight, I'm generally pretty open about writing this blog. I often field questions, but I honestly kind of like it, since I figure it allows me to maybe open some minds. When having one such conversation recently, a boy asked me what I thought about sex toys. I told him I thought positively, and that honestly I didn't really see how there

The Memory in the Music

I don't know about you guys, but I have a soundtrack for my life. I almost always have music playing in my head, and spend most of my life out in public insulated in a bubble of music that blots out the rest of the world. I also tend towards falling in love with one or two artists at a time, where I will listen to same album or albums for months, then move on to someone new. But each of the bands

Grooming Part 2: Taking it off

Like I said before, the decision to shave, trim, groom, what have you, is a personal one, and everyone gets to make that choice themselves, based on their own desires, not society or any one person's expectations. With that said, if you chose to take your pubic off or down, there are a multitude of ways to do so. All have their pros and cons, and I bounce back and forth between a lot of different

My adventures in online dating: episode 7

File this one under cheesy and dumb.hey how are you?So I am guessing you love Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia?Yes, I live in Philly, but seriously, does that mean all the people in California love Californication? Sometimes, people are weird

The Joy of the Pelt

Back in the day.... and yes, I am using that phrase to reference the 1970's... Men were HAIRY. Just look at Burt up there. Frankly, I think he's sexy as hell. Yes, I admit that I prefer my male sexual partners to trim their public hair, but that's mainly because I enjoy sucking their balls, and it's easier to deep throat without 2 inches of hair going up my nose. However, other body hair is a

Grooming Part 1: To shave or not to shave.

Pubic hair is a fact of life. After puberty, everyone's got it, but watching most mainstream modern porn, you get the impression that women are completely hairless from the neck down. Even the landing strips and small patches that were big in the nineties have gone the way of completely bare vulvas (Random aside, my computer isn't recognizing vulvas, if that's not the pural what is? Vulvae? Vulvi

My Adventures in Online Dating:Episode 6

Received the following instant message the other day.... I'm going to let it speak for itself. (Note, my profile says I like geeks)im a geek but im hung like a chinchilladealbreaker?Seriously?(P.S. I so want a chinchilla now.)

Review: Bum buddies

Sex toy online store sent me the Bum Buddies Rear End Rapture Butt Plug in Intermediate by Adam and Eve Toys. Yeah, yeah, dumb name, I know, but give the toy a chance. When I got the toy, my heart fell a little bit. This is once again an instance of my eyes being bigger then my ass. I swear, I do read the specs on these toys, but in my head, they're always smaller then they are when they show up.

PSA: Condom Lube Alert!!!!!

I was reading through my blog reader, and an interesting post from Feminists with Female Sexual Disfunction. The author, K, wrote to both Durex (for some reason I can't find their non- latex, Avanti condoms on their website) and Lifestyles about the respective companies non latex condoms. Both companies replied that the lubricant used on both brands is silicone based. I hate the fact that I'm

My Adventures in Online Dating: Episode 5

So there I am, sitting on the dating sight when there, in my matches in the side bar I see it. My stomach drops. It's B. The girl I dated, the girl I was pretty sure I was going to marry, the girl who dumped me because SHE'S STRAIGHT. She can only show up as one of my potential matches if she has on her profile that she likes women. I click over, I have to know, and yep, she's listed as bi.

Revealing Yourself

I've been planning a blog post about "coming out" to dates for a while now, but then something amazing happened. I actually got asked out on a date. This doesn't happen to me very often. I'm pretty shy in person and am generally oblivious that people are hitting on me until way too late. I have mild social anxiety, so I have a hard time introducing myself to people or initiating conversation with

In praise of the average penis

So in the course of my sexual escapades, I can't tell how many times some guy, in an attempt to get me to sleep with him, or sleep with him sooner has told me that he has a huge penis like this is supposed to be some magic phrase that makes me drop my pants and bend at the waist instantly. It's something that has always irritated me, because frankly, you're more likely to incite me with telling

Review: Ben Wa Balls

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My Adventures in Online Dating: Episode 4

So I made the switch not long after I put the blog on hiatus, that I wanted to stop looking for casual sex online and start looking for dates instead. Sadly, changing my profile to reflect this hasn't really affected my messages in the way you would think. I recently got a message from someone who's picture is of a cat, doesn't have pretty much any info on his profile except that his is a "well

Rape Culture

So I'm usually not one to react to other bloggers I see around the interwebs. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, and even if I think the opinion is hateful, who am I to change someone's mind. I just sit here at my computer and I blog MY opinion, and I hope that it can be a voice heard over the din for people who need it. However, I woke up this morning to a shit storm on my Twitter stream (by

Review: Melon Crank

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Dear Sextoy.com

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I'm back bitches!

Hey everyone. I'm back. I'm still dealing with some of the things that brought me to the decision to close the blog, but all in all, I'm doing better. First I had outstanding reviews to write, and I've been hearing/reading some interesting things I've wanted to write about. I'm probably going to be staying away from my personal experiences for a while, and stick to reviews, advice, and discussing

And so it goes....

I'm sure you guys have noticed a distinct lack of posts on my part. I'm sorry. I been going through a lot lately, some of it good, some of it bad, but all of it comes together to mean that I'm going to have to put this blog on hiatus. I don't know for how long. I'll be posting a few outstanding reviews that are due, but I don't know if or when I'll be posting again. There's a lot that's going

My Adventures in Online Dating: Episode 3

I'm a bit of an insominac sometimes and lately I've been up past 2 most nights. When I'm bored I like to troll around my dating site to pass the time. I've said before there is an IM feature. Last night I was on, talking to a boy who had written and interesting and thoughtful message to me and who happened to also be on super late, for about a hour. Over the course of that hour, I got 2 separate

Review : Wet products

A while ago, the fab people at Wet sent me some products for review. I've said before I don't want this to become just a review site, so I promise to only post reviews between my regular updates. Anyway... I was fully expecting little single use packets. I was shocked to find small bottles and full sized products, but I appreciated it. The first product I tried was Wet's Total Body Shave in

E lust #10

HNT Courtesy of Babe LincolnWelcome to e[lust] - The 10th edition! Your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you’re going to find it here. Want to be included in e[lust] #11? Start with the rules, check out the schedule in the site’s sidebar and

Where have all the boys gone?

What kind of sex blogger doesn't have sex? Well.... apparently this sex blogger. The sex in my life has been tapering down in frequency for the past 6 months or so, and with the ending of yet another fuck buddy relationship, I'm faced with the idea that I have no idea when the next time I have sex will be. This idea both freaks me out and frustrates me. I've mentioned before both the fact that I

The eroticism of Tattoos...

I know, I know, I've been a horrible blogger. I haven't written anything in like 2 weeks. I suck. I could give you my excuses: depression, a grad school app crisis, and a hateful computer that's been locking up when I try to open more then one internet tab at a time... but the fact is, it doesn't really matter does it? You don't come here for stories of my life, unless those stories take place

Formspring time!

I've mentioned before that I have a handy little box on the sidebar where you can submit questions to me through formspring. It didn't tell me I had any until the oldest had been sitting in my inbox for over a month. Sorry about that to anyone who asked a question. Since I don't post them to my twitter or blog, I figured, I'd repost them here, (with a few updates or changes as needed)1. Which

The List

I lost my virginity on Valentine's Day.... yes, I know, seriously, there was music, there were candles, I made a special dinner, it was something out of a movie, and considering I am not one to appreciate romance (when it's directed at me, I'm one romantic bitch as long as it is me doing it for other people), that's just a little ridiculous. In honor of such an occasion, I've decided to post my

My Love Affair with Porn (addendum)

I jut wanted to make a note about what I've been saying in my love affair with porn entries. I've gotten comments talking about the unrealistic bodies and expectations mainstream porn has. I know all that. I'm a big girl, when I started having sex, I was wearing a size 22. No one looked like me. It didn't matter if they were fucking on screen or falling in love in some hollywood romantic comedy.

Techincal Difficulties

Just letting anyone who sent me a formspring question that I didn't get the notification that I had any waiting until about 10 minutes ago, so I will be answering all of the questions and posting themas a blog entry in the next few days, I just wanted to tell everyone I wasn't ignoring them and I'll be sure to check it more often instead of actually relying on them to email me. For now (since I'm

My Love Affair with Porn Part 2

Growing up, my friends and I never talked about sex much. The closest we ever ame was a sleepover when I was 16 or so where a few of the girls admitted to masturbating, and where I revealed my adventures in babysitting with the spice channel. When I got to college, my friends were just as inexperienced and quiet about it as I was aside from occasional jokes. When I started being sexual with my

E lust #6

HNT Courtesy of Having My Cake And Eating It TooWelcome to e[lust] - your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you’re going to find it here. Want to be included in e[lust] #7? Start with the rules, check out the schedule in the site’s sidebar

My Love Affair with Porn Part 1

I love porn, I do. I know that there are a lot of women out there who are don't like it, are intimidated by it, or don't want their significant others watching it. I've never been one of those women. However, my first exposure to porn didn't really foreshadow my love of it now. When I was 12 I started babysitting for a local family. They had one of those cable boxes that got every channel

My Adventures in Online Dating: Episode 2

So this is just really quick, anyone else find it just a little ridiculous to have marked on your profile that you are looking for casual sex and also think all forms of contraception are a sin? Are you planing on impregnating all you casual sex partners mr. super religious views man? Stay the fuck away from my vagina. That is all. Love you lots kiddies, this is cleofaye saying, if you don't know

Blog for Choice: Trust Women

I try to keep this blog pretty neutral politics wise, and I do that because I think the sexual information I have is valuable to everyone, not just those that agree with my politics, and I would never want to scare off someone who wants to know about sex with my political ideology. That said, yes, this entry is going to be pro choice. If you leave because of that, just be sure to get information

My adventures in online dating: Episode 1

I think I've stated before that I don't really date so much, I'm a little gun shy from past experiences, and am doing the whole "focus on yourself for a while" thing, and to be honest, I'm generally pretty happy single. I have a good life, fab friends and all that, but I can't handle the lack of sex. So that means I have to go and look for sex partners. This is possibly one of my least favorite

Psychosexual: Does the G Spot Exist? Do I Care?

Yes, I know, if you're a fan of sex blogs in general, I'm a little late to the party, but I have wanted to write about this for the past week and a half, and better late than never right? Apparently, the g spot doesn't exist. A bunch of British scientists got together, surveyed a bunch of twins, and decided that since they couldn't find a significant genetic link, it must not exist. I've

Quick updates

Hey kiddies, I know posting has been a bit erratic, but I am keeping up with at least once a week as best as I can. I have my birthday coming up this weekend, and grad school applications, in Feb, but hopefully, after that everything should be back to normal and I'll be posting more often again. I also have a real post coming up for you soon, and many ideas on the back burner (which is exciting

Obligatory New Year's Blog

So hey, apparently we're in 2010, who knew? oh... that's what all those fireworks were on thursday, that explains a lot. So yes, it's a new year and in general, people like to use this time to reflect on the year that has been and the year to come and say their hopes and dreams, their regrets and triumphs. My life has changed a lot in the past year. This time last year I was dating the girl I

E lust #4

HNT Courtesy of Molls (via Eat The Cake NYC)Welcome to e[lust] - your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you're looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you're going to find it here. Want to be included in e[lust] #5? Start with the rules, check out the schedule in the site's sidebar and

Condom Alert!

Hey everyone. I plan on posting the obligatory recap of the past year/hopes for the comming year entry soon, but in the midst of an insane weekend, I wanted to give you some quick information I just learned. I'm stated before that I have a latex allergy. That leaves me the having to by more expensive, harder to find, and less versatile non latex condoms. I'm spending the weekend with a new